I want to be a writer, or an artist. I want to be, but I'm worried that I can't, because I have too many secrets. I used to wish that I was the kind of artist who naturally wanted (or could) paint soft watercolors of nature scenes, the felluca bobbing up and down gently with Nile water lapping at its side and a clear blue sky overhead...
I don't want that anymore. You can't write about what you want to write about. I don't think so. You write about what you have to write about, what you must deal with. The things you face. The things you are struggling with.
It feels like the laptop is burning my legs with its heat. It's not a good feeling.
So, what? Adopt some kind of pen name? Self-censor? Selectively show pieces to close friends only? Stick to cooking instead, which is much less likely to lead to persecution? Or shed my secrets? Or none of the above: write sporadically and wait for a solution to present itself?